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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Funny
Doesn
Anything
Love
Witty
Humorous
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
