Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Real
Witty
Humorous
Laughter
Despair
Laughing
Funny
Comes
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
