Quote

I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Kick
Kicks
Already
Teach
Need
Needs

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
Image
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
Image
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
Image
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
Image
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
Image
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
Image
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
Image
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
Image
He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
Image
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
Image
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
Image
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
Image
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
Image
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
Image
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
Image
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
Image
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
Image
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
Image
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx