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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Kick
Kicks
Already
Teach
Need
Needs

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
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I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx