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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Kick
Kicks
Already
Teach
Need
Needs

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
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TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx