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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Kick
Kicks
Already
Teach
Need
Needs

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
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Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx