Quote

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Stop
Funny
Might
Beard
Pointing
Witty
Humorous

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
Image
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Image
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
Image
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
Image
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
Image
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
Image
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
Image
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
Image
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
Image
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
Image
I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
Groucho Marx
Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
Groucho Marx
Image
The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx
Image
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
Image
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
Image
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
Image
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
Image
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
Image
I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
Image
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx