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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Reality
Meals
Stills
Witty
Still
Decent
Humorous
Crazy
Funny
Fear
Place
Meal

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
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Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx