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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Fear
Place
Meal
Reality
Meals
Stills
Witty
Still
Decent
Humorous
Crazy

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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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