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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humorous
Crazy
Funny
Fear
Place
Meal
Reality
Meals
Stills
Witty
Still
Decent

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
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Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
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I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx