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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Fear
Place
Meal
Reality
Meals
Stills
Witty
Still
Decent
Humorous
Crazy
Funny
More quotes by Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
