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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Absurd
Humorous
Respect
Funny
Nothing
Much
Witty
More quotes by Groucho Marx
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
