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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Witty
Humorous
Hero
Bigger
Movies
Funny
Tits
Never
Heroine
Heroines

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx