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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Witty
Humorous
Photograph
Footprints
Humor
Socks
Inspiration
Upstairs
Funny
Footprint
Sock
Nostalgia

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
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He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx