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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Sock
Nostalgia
Witty
Humorous
Photograph
Footprints
Humor
Socks
Inspiration
Upstairs
Funny
Footprint

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx