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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Love
Humorous
Loved
Funny
Given
Mother
Anything
Children
Would
Witty

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx