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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Mother
Anything
Children
Would
Witty
Love
Humorous
Loved
Funny
Given

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
Groucho Marx
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
Groucho Marx
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx