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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Anything
Children
Would
Witty
Love
Humorous
Loved
Funny
Given
Mother
More quotes by Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx