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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Death
Stopped
Watches
Watch
Dead
Comedy
Either
Funny
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
