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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Write
Practically
Doe
Witty
Book
Humorous
Writing
York
Mind
Comedy
Everybody
Half
More quotes by Groucho Marx
TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
