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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Whip
Whips
Silly
Horse
Inspiration
Crazy
Funny
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Groucho Marx
You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
