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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Would
Closer
Silly
Held
Side
Inspiration
Crazy
Sides
More quotes by Groucho Marx
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
