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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Silly
Crazy
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Inspirational
Quotations
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More quotes by Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx
Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
