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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspirational
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More quotes by Groucho Marx
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
