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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Life
Smoking
Smoke
Negative
Pleasure
Funny
Woman
Women
Cigar
Always
Occasional

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx