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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Head
Joining
Funny
Join
Mind
Club
Clubs
Beat
Beats
Humor
Inspiration
Grouches
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
