Quote

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Year
Tail
Understand
Tails
Running
Report
Find
Reports
Children
Comedy
Years
Head
Make
Child
Four

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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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