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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
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Look
Looks
Sarcasm
Never
Sarcastic
Marry
Horse
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
