Quote

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Horse
Humor
Funny
Another
Look
Looks
Sarcasm
Never
Sarcastic
Marry

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx
Image
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
Image
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
Image
If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
Image
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Image
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
Image
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
Image
I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
Image
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
Image
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
Image
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
Image
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
Image
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
Image
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
Image
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
Image
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
Image
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
Image
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
Image
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
Image
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx