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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
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More quotes by Groucho Marx
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
