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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Find
Honesty
Way
Inspiration
Men
Says
Honest
Crazy
Crook
Asks
Crooks
Funny
Dishonesty
Truth
Silly

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx