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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Age
Born
Must
Confess
Birthday
Early
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
Groucho Marx
