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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Early
Inspiration
Age
Born
Must
Confess
Birthday

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
Groucho Marx