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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humor
Londoners
Environment
Raining
Funny
Drought
Hate
Flood
Energy
Weather
Good
London
Leaving
Rain

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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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