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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Term
Peace
Contradiction
Funny
Silly
War
Intelligence
Terms
Military
Inspiration
Crazy

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
Groucho Marx
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx