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Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Presentation
Witty
Humorous
Funny
Speak
Important
Something

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
Groucho Marx
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
Groucho Marx
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx