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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Speak
Important
Something
Presentation
Witty
Humorous
Funny
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx