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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Laughing
Goes
Funny
Work
Men
Boss
Time
Leaves
Early
Unless

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
Groucho Marx
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx