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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Men
Boss
Time
Leaves
Early
Unless
Laughing
Goes
Funny
Work

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Groucho Marx