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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Early
Unless
Laughing
Goes
Funny
Work
Men
Boss
Time
Leaves

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx