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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Television
Educate
Read
Humorous
Stuff
Newspapers
America
Intellectual
Going
Couldn
Every
Minutes
Inspiration
Started
Monday

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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