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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Started
Monday
Television
Educate
Read
Humorous
Stuff
Newspapers
America
Intellectual
Going
Couldn
Every
Minutes

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx