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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Started
Monday
Television
Educate
Read
Humorous
Stuff
Newspapers
America
Intellectual
Going
Couldn
Every
Minutes

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx