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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Firsts
First
Time
Receipt
Goggles
Receipts
Kept
Sex
Remember
More quotes by Groucho Marx
If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
