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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Receipts
Kept
Sex
Remember
Firsts
First
Time
Receipt
Goggles
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
