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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Romance
Medics
Medical
Parked
Bed
Meter
Medicine
Taxi
Inspiration
Hospitality
Funny
Hospital
Running
Hospitals
Witty

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx