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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Witty
Romance
Medics
Medical
Parked
Bed
Meter
Medicine
Taxi
Inspiration
Hospitality
Funny
Hospital
Running
Hospitals
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
