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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Hospitality
Funny
Hospital
Running
Hospitals
Witty
Romance
Medics
Medical
Parked
Bed
Meter
Medicine
Taxi

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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