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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Silly
Judge
Judging
Asked
Jurors
Married
Jury
Marriage
Sarcastic
Humor
Wedding
Crazy
Dating
More quotes by Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
