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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Silly
Judge
Judging
Asked
Jurors
Married
Jury
Marriage
Sarcastic
Humor
Wedding
Crazy
Dating

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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