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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Crazy
Dating
Funny
Silly
Judge
Judging
Asked
Jurors
Married
Jury
Marriage
Sarcastic
Humor
Wedding

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I hate London when it's not raining.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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