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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Death
Live
Quip
Trying
Demise
Intend
Aging
Comedy
Forever
Dies
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
