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I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Trying
Demise
Intend
Aging
Comedy
Forever
Dies
Death
Live
Quip

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
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He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx