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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Book
Somebody
Educational
Every
Education
Library
Time
Reading
Smile
Educating
Turns
Drink
Librarian
Read
Room
Sarcasm
Funny
Humor
Literacy
Inspirational
Rooms
Sarcastic
Find
Television
Beer
More quotes by Groucho Marx
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx