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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
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Television
Beer
Book
Somebody
Educational
Every
Education
Library
Time
Reading
Smile
Educating
Turns
Drink
Librarian
Read
Room
Sarcasm
Funny
Humor
Literacy
Inspirational
Rooms
Sarcastic

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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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