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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
People
Clubs
Members
Accepting
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Accepts
Care
Club
Like
Belong

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx