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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Accepts
Care
Club
Like
Belong
People
Clubs
Members
Accepting
Humor
Inspiration
More quotes by Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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Blood's not thicker than money.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx