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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Republicans
Born
Democrats
Inspirational
Witty
Political
Humorous
America
Democrat
People
Laughter
Except
Republican
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More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
Groucho Marx
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx