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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Born
Democrats
Inspirational
Witty
Political
Humorous
America
Democrat
People
Laughter
Except
Republican
Alike
Funny
Republicans
More quotes by Groucho Marx
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
