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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Secret
Dealing
Funny
Fake
Made
Silly
Life
Fairs
Fair
Honesty
Humor
Crazy
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Groucho Marx
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
