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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Honesty
Humor
Crazy
Secret
Dealing
Funny
Fake
Made
Silly
Life
Fairs
Fair
More quotes by Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
