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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Secret
Dealing
Funny
Fake
Made
Silly
Life
Fairs
Fair
Honesty
Humor
Crazy
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Blood's not thicker than money.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx